A ventriloquist was driving through Texas when he has some car trouble near a small town. He pulled into the local service station and the mechanic said he could have the car fixed in about an hour. So the guy was looking for some way to kill some time when he spotted a local farmer with some of his animals wandering walking towards a market. So the ventriloquist thinks to himself, "I can spend a little time having some fun with this guy."

He walks up to the farmer and says, "Sir, this is a mighty fine-looking horse ya got here. Do you mind if I ask him a few questions?" The farmers said, "But that horse can't talk…"

And the ventriloquist went around to the front of the horse and said, "How do you like living on the farm? Then, in his best horse-voice, he made the horse appear to answer, "Its great, plenty of salt-licks and the works not too hard. They groom my mane every week, so I like it a lot."

The farmer was in total shock over his horse's new found voice when the ventriloquist said, "Mind if I ask your hound a question?" The farmer stammered a bit and said, "But the dog… it don't talk…" And so the man walked up to the dog and said, "How does this guy treat you?" "Oh," said the ventriloquist in his best dog-voice, "he's really nice. There's always food in my dish and he takes me hunting. Then his woman rubs my belly."

This confounded the farmer and so the ventriloquist said, "Look, I don't want to take any more of your time, but before I go, do you mind if I ask your sheep a question?"

And the farmer said, "That sheep there is a big, fat liar!"

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< Lafferz of America Unite >, 1998. All Rights Reserved. Steal It All You Want

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